I haven't shared anything in a while. Perhaps it because I haven't had much to share, more nothing which those around me could benefit from. I had an experience recently that struck a cord. One I may not have had if it were not for a choice I made.
The quality of life we have is based solely on those whom we share our existence with. Although sometimes we do not know how important these moments are until it has happened and left you wanting. I had one of these last night, I wasn't in a good state of mind. I wasn't willing to see or experience anything new. Those of you who know me best would agree that I'm not the most agreeable person when I'm in a dark head space. Then again I'm sure there are several colorful phrases you could use. As the night went on and I submitted to the task, and danced about the brewery as the Boxer's ritual continued on as it did every Thursday night. I came to the realization that it is close to impossible to be in that dark place when you are surrounded by light. Such as these guys are to me. I don't have many people in my life here who improve my quality life just by being near. In fact I can count them all on one hand. I am blessed to have so many, within arms reach.
My day, where I have been stressing out melted away and I was left wanting. If the dark continued I would have simply gone home and collapsed on the couch after the rehearsal was over. Instead there was something more important I had to witness. I wasn't going to go, I wasn't feeling it. But then the dark was gone and I didn't want to be at home.
The event was a debut of another friend taking the stage for the first time. Being part of that brought me closer to the light inside myself that I thought I was losing grip of. I've just been so tired with all that has been going on. I've been too busy. I know now, there is such thing as being too busy. Being too tired... that there is a limit to me. Sharing in this experience was inspired. I could never forgot her face, when she saw me in the front row. I told her I couldn't come, that I was too busy.
You never know how important you are to someone until you share in a moment like this. It fills you up somehow. Connections are made stronger somehow. You achieve another level of closeness.
It made me realize how many people I had to let go of because they weren't present. people standing at a distance just watching. Never getting involved because hands would get dirty, too much effort. Any number of excuse to justify the importance of something else over simply being present. I do it too. You can't be everywhere at once. But the thing we do choose to see, to be part of and share in. Those are the jewels worth having. I am grateful to the memories gained, somehow I am made better by them.
I thought I would share this.