Emotional Responses in the “Abandoned” Position

Grief

This grief is real—even when responsibility is denied.

They may grieve:

• Loss of access

• Loss of role

• Loss of imagined future

• Loss of social standing

  
  

However, grief becomes frozen when it cannot move toward accountability.

Rage Disguised as Hurt

Anger often hides beneath the victim narrative:

• Anger at loss of control

• Anger at boundaries

• Anger at no longer being centred

  
  

This anger may surface as:

• Moral outrage

• Smear campaigns

• Passive aggression

• Public displays of suffering

  
  

Self-Pity

Self-pity reduces emotional complexity:

• No need to reflect

• No need to repair

• No need to tolerate ambivalence

  
  

It soothes pain—but at the cost of growth.

Fear of Irrelevance

Estrangement threatens existential worth.

Victimhood says:

“I was wronged — therefore I still matter.”