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  • Writer's pictureBrandon Robbins

Knowing my Mind

Updated: Mar 9

Reflecting on all that I don’t know, and what I don't decide, it only helps me to know my mind and what I think. What am I curious about and what keeps me interested? What are those factors that call my attention? Also the reverse, the factors that cause me to lose interest and disconnect from the conversation or even a relationship? 

That is important for me to know and better understand about myself. Knowing my mind and understanding how it works when faced with both of those situations. Those impactful conversations, helped me to feel heard and supported, through the rally of exchanges, both are asking important questions and learning deeper levels of the person you are engaged with, while gaining insight into subjects and matters integral to our personal growth. This person cares enough to be part of that process as ami in theirs. There are other impactful exchanges however disappointing situations where learning deeper levels of the person is a double-edged sword and you learn the truth, seeing a side of them that makes them uninteresting, halting the conversation because I may find the person I am learning about to be distasteful. Those situations when there is no real exchange at all, not real conversations but a situation where they are speaking to hear their voice on matters that interest them and no one else. A pseudo conversation, is dominated by one voice and one mind talking at participants and expect to be agreed with, no matter what the subject. There is no growth for anyone, no room for thought or debate. They just want to be right. 

Having had similar conversations where maybe I was faced with a dilemma, of another pressing their viewpoint on me and expecting it to be interesting or important to me because it was decided that it should be. I wasn’t part of the conversation but it was still expected that I would listen and agree and not have any input of my own. Reflecting on this, made me pause to consider situations where I might have been the one pressing, the one talking at and wanting to be right. Perhaps there have been circumstances debating right and wrong, somehow I thought I knew more or knew better. It is something to be mindful of. There might be situations and circumstances that are more important to me than it is to others, where I express my opinions and expect them to have value to everyone. It is not true, surely. My opinions only really matter to me, perhaps to a select few, but I don’t get to decide what I say is valued and what isn’t. It is a challenging truth to face about myself. Knowing this, helps me consider more possibilities when weighing my choices on the scales, what is right and what is right for me.

Knowing my mind, and the importance of coming to answers on my own rather than simply accepting a truth that is told to me. Allowing myself to learn and form my opinions, rather than have them serve me. To decide what subjects I ingest and absorb into my being. Hearing evidence on matters but deciding what part of it is important to me. What questions are satisfied and which are left wanting or disappointing having learned something that changes how I feel on a subject important to me, causing me to choose to continue down that path and continue to be disappointed or abandon it and explore a new path, or even a new relationship?

How do I feel about what I learn? How does what I think affect what I feel? That question leads me to another part of this question. Humility of the Heart. What I have learned so far in this process is that my thoughts and how I think are only valuable to me, affecting how I make my choices. Perhaps who am I making my choices for? Only I know the answers when I reach those crossroads when I must decide whether to go left or right. When there are more options. Create a new path, or go back the way I came and gain a different perspective on a situation I've previously encountered. No matter what path I choose, it's forward. 

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