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  • Writer's pictureBrandon Robbins

Left on Read

I’m sure I’m not the only one who gets sad or disappointed being left on “Read”

There are moments when I am feeling lonely and I reach out to friends or loved ones and there are those moments when I’m left on "read".

It’s a strange feeling to have. As much as I understand that the people in my life are busy, they have their priorities. Being patient is part of the process. They will get back to me when. They have the time and the energy to do so, we connect and catch up, or set up a time to catch up in person. My family and even my chosen family get back to me when they can, and show me that I’m still a priority, I don’t have to be high on the list, but I’d like to be on the list of what and who they think about.

Then there are those that I've prioritized, but that is not always a two-way street. These are those I am chasing. People who come to me when they need something of me, but when I am in need I might as well be talking to shadows and smoke. It’s often hurtful to realize that my presence is only meaningful when they have something to gain. They aren’t friends of mine, and that realization is hard to comprehend because as much as I’ve given them, perhaps they’d repay the favour with some equivalent exchange. A sense of balance to what I believe our relationship is.

Perhaps it’s my fault for thinking there is no relationship, I am chasing shadows and smoke. Their silence is to tell me what their intentions are.

It puts things in perspective, and has me think and re-think about the relationship I am cultivating, am I getting what I put in? Or am I chasing ghosts? Better yet, highlight the thread and DELETE it.

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